Sunday, October 4, 2009
once again, nothing made me smile more than the unexplainable outburst of dear Supervisor, and the screaming of being thrown unexpectedly by our cursed youngster. that's why i love long and completed series. because there's plenty of fun moments, and it doesn't make you curse at the agony of waiting for the next episode.
i still don't understand why i don't go to it the moment i feel down.
ah, finally for some reason, i realise why i was crying the other day. i know i'm slow, but everyone knows that. it just shows that i have an 'auto-pilot' mode in my head, which kept me functional while emo-ing about things. haha. i love myself really. but i'm not narcissistic. no worries, i'll still love my 4 husbands.
oh yea emo-ing. shall not say much, just that i feel bad that people are paying attention to the very one thing i hope to disappear for and trying not to be a prick at it. i guess i've seen the good and the bad of it, and the reason why i'm giving it no attention because i feared it'll turn out to be the 'bad' if i were to carry it out. but well, reason why that might be so, would only be understood by those who have already experienced that. and also, whatever i've thought of, is unfeasible as the other, in the end i just gave up and forget about it. either way, complex as it might sound, tears just find their way, irritating my already swollen eye for no reason at all. because at the end of it, i might just look back and regret.
the profile assignment that i submitted it seems to have an underlying meaning now, that underneath that individual, is my voice, venting out whatever frustrations that i have over this particular issue. like i said, i have the 'auto-pilot' mode, and it must have been the one writing this piece for me, because without noticing, i've written myself into it. and i now realise why it came to me so fluently.
as much as i don't like submitting to whatever that's given to me in this life, i'm really tired of thinking about these issues that make me feel that i'm alone in this world and every day seem like halloween in every aspect of life.
reliability comes from within. i wrote this on my status out of annoyance. but now i fully understood what it really meant.
