Tuesday, July 29, 2008


i swear that was the heartiest laugh i had in days, or even weeks. that scene when barbossa opens up the charts and sees a huge hole where the turning map was to be was just too good to pass for a laugh. and that familiar montage of my favourite music, curse that soundtrack compiler who didn't include this montage.

close my eyes, let the music engulf, let all thoughts run, imagination fly.

omg the feeling is just indescribable. even when i'm just staring at the black credits, and in my confined room, i really felt like i'm out in the caribbean... hans zimmer, if only you didn't smoke, i'll make an altar and pray to you every day... whahaha

that montage... omg!!!!! i really love it. why the hell did i even forget it existed... sheesh.

ooh, tree sign in msn whahaha.. ok.. that was random...

my gosh... movies and music... my medication.

the bloopers are just the perfect pill to make people laugh. and just one second into that scene and i'm on the floor already. i really forgot that feeling when i laugh genuinely, and not fake it...

i think my mood, life is like a movie player. once it starts playing, that's where i feel joy and happiness, that there's still hope. sounds cliche... i know.. and once the stop button is pushed, cd ejected out, and it's back to being sad twisted pathetic loser suen hui again...

i'm hopeless man... sheesh... and wait.. where did i catch that 'sheesh' thing? it seems to be quite a catchy phrase i'm speaking now huh... eew.

anyway. today, had a good start. because i woke up to a dreamless sleep. surprisingly i didn't have a dream last night... which is rather rare... but since rare is something to beware about from my experience, i should have taken caution.

the other day i had this freaky dream... well actually it was rather normal, since dreams were usually random stuff that cannot be explained by daily logic... only thing freaky is... i had a darling in there... when i woke up i was like... "who the hell was that?!" and as i tried recalling that dream, omg, i really did dream that i had a darling... i mean 'HOW RANDOM CAN THAT GET?!" sheesh man... to think, such thoughts will even penetrate my mind during SLEEP! and then all sorts of random people started popping out, but since i know them in life, and they remain as how i know them, such as through the net means net, F2F means F2F... but my gawd! why the hell did i even dream i had a darling! and as i tried to recall further, although i can't be sure if the psy101 stuff comes into play, i think, he really does has Gri-darling's features... or at least was how i perceived it to be... sheesh man... something is wrong with my head!

ok enough of weird dreams. there's nothing to be freaked out about a random dream with a darling in it. it's a good sign, that i'm dreaming of Grimmjow. it's a good sign. it's a good sign...

anyway, back to my day. well done my buddies for all the project and presentations at china man's class today! and all those who presented at that acursed saches' class. i'll get to that in a moment...

frankly, i thought my ad was pretty good, since, at least it was quite out of this world. and i got the bombshell that someone was doing the same ad as i was... at that point i really thought, so is this how i'm being treated? at the end of each semester with ppts and projects and exams, there'll always be an obstacle that seems to crush me breathless and on the verge of crying? i don't know if i can survive more of these... one day i might just snap and break.

then i sat through more show and tell, and i got to say with every comment saches made about people's analysis, and with every 'i'll get to that' my fellow classmate mention, i hate that guy more and more. i mean:

WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU SHADDAP AND JUST LISTEN?!

and i'm starting to wonder... if your Ph.D is properly stamped or not... so 'high context' and 'haptics' sounds like an alien language to you? or were you jesting? maybe you should go read the book, 'interpersonal communication'... Honolulu can teach you some stuff really... and since that's the case, i think you two don't know each other... which is a good thing...

and then... you made wendy-chan cry. !@#$%$">!@#$%$#@!

i really think you SHOULD go for honolulu's INTERCULTURAL and INTERPERSONAL communication modules and get some credit hours... nevermind about persuasion, as far as i'm concerned, you can tell me loads of things, but i'll take your first lesson's 'lesson' for real

rhetoric=bullshit. at least... the rhetoric that came from you... i think i'll stick to caldini... and i never thought i'll say this, literately, never, but i think i'll go to aristotle if i need rhetoric... honestly i hate that guy right to the core after UGC111, but compared to saches... i'll rather go to the dead, decomposed, dust-reduced guy if i need some lessons...

i mean, if culturally, or even normally, you can't do what you said, that equals to bullshit isn't it? sure you can say others can't think from another perspective... well, aren't you doing the same too? sticking close to your perception and argument that 'that ad is disturbing'?

isn't communication the study of how to relate to people? how to open up our minds to accept what is different before judging them?

oh my gawd, your image of 'Authority' from one of the weapons of influence is crumbling!!!! omg!

crumble

crumble..

RUN or you'll be crushed under debris!!!

crumble..

crumble further...

crumble

crumbled.

omg! i sound so contradicting. but that's another case. perhaps we should make him sit through our presentation on that cultural exploration of Japan. let him see some really disturbing stuff. but i know the reaction anyway. it'll be 'disturbing', and he'll have nightmares and weird stuff swarming in his head because he has not understood the whole intercultural thing... well, case point. and aim achieved. to give him nightmares. whahahaha muhahahaha.

ok i'm starting to get incoherent.

all in all, i think i didn't do so badly, since i can't bang on my original analysis anymore. and it's lucky that i have some back-up points, or else i think i'll really be screwed.

thank you Rockstar Sarih, for staying with me. i owe you a big thanks for this one.

thanks to all the guys who stayed to be audience despite the late hour and the off-ed aircon.

thanks to angie and wendy for your 'good luck's. you guys did great on your show and tell!

and lastly, a big sorry to Paris Janice, for leaving you to present on thursday.

here is my good luck to everyone presenting on thursday, all the best in crushing saches' interruptions and his madness and insanity.

there's something i saw today, that i can't get it out of my head. despite it was a little thing, but i felt it made the whole difference in the world. just like throwing stranded starfishes back into the sea, it may not make a difference since there are thousands of them on the shore, but it made a difference for that one starfish that was thrown back into the sea.

and i thought that incident, it may be small, and quick as a flash, but it made an impact and i thought, why couldn't i be the one doing that? i know i won't be that fast thinking, and do what it is to help that situation on that spot, help others. all i know is i will sympathise and salvage that situation after all it happened. but i don't know how to react at that point. it's always the aftermath that i think of solutions... but what i saw today, was at-that-instant-solution that worked marvelously and saved people. i want to be like that. i really want to. i think that is what separates the ones who will make a difference.

to that person, it may just a small gesture, but in my eyes, that was what make the phrase 'a cut above the rest' true. and that's where it's all the difference. people imitate good actions, but how many people in this world can be initiators that gives birth to such good actions? at least i know i can't. i'll always be the imitator, not the initiator.

and that is a sad commentary in and of itself...

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Sunday, July 27, 2008


meeeeeeeeeeeek!

just finished referencing for china man's project and the ppt slides and it's woooosh to huiwen lee who so comically smsed me 'boo! have you finished your referencing?' whahaha, moments ago my word crashed and the whole document of 20 over referencing was gone. and i had to redo because for some cracked up reason word couldn't recover my lost document.

i think i ought to have a more healthy lifestyle, now that one major worry about some feminine stuff is over, i think it's time to readjust my stubborn stomach, and get those weight off. seriously it's not i don't want to go shopping with people, it's just that agonizing feeling that i can't fit in clothes my friends are happily trying on is not such a nice feeling. and plus, i think i ought to breathe some fresh air. good for lungs anyway.

time to go swimming. someday, once ehem, is over. and time to get rid of the spare air molecules in my tummy so as to stop me from barfing out every meal. what the hell. almost wasted my bake rice yesterday... and i didn't get to have my signature chocolate from Starbucks when it's just steps away...

been having weird dreams lately, i guess too much thoughts are being processed in my already-complex mind. and frankly, these dreams are keeping me from a good night's sleep. i mean, i go to bed earlier than usual, but i still wake up almost the same time as usual, feeling more drained than ever. something is wrong with me.

somehow, i want to know, what was it that happen that made me lost touch with the world these days. i don't think it's the projects and assignments. i mean last semester i had the same things, may be even worse, but i still manage to keep my sanity, but this semester.. something is seriously wrong.

maple didnt' seem so enticing anymore, not when everyone is soaring levels and leaving me behind, and even if i do sign in, i experience the quietness which i never thought i will experience.

msn didn't seem so nice either. for a long time, or rather since i started using, msn has never been my way of keeping in touch with people, because i can leave it on for an entire day with online status and still go out for fun without worrying about not replying people. it is That quiet.

people i used to talk with suddenly seemed so distant from me. it's as though i went to sleep and woke up in Mars, where everyone i know are still back on earth... and i'm frankly, really tired of being the one to initiate keeping in touch with people, because i know i'll probably get a late reply, with probably a few words that is countable with one hand's worth of fingers.

and probably a sudden realisation sunk in and i sent myself on a one-way-trip to emo land. but no matter what, i think there might be something i can do about it, i'll just need reminders.

mummy and daddy wanted to buy a cake, so i had to drag my churning tummy down 1 floor to buy cake at HM yesterday. and that stupid shop was empty when i reached, so i stood there like an idiot, although not aware of it because my attention was on D-wars playing some distance away. i told the girl after she came back from hell knows where for hell knows how long, i wanted 4 big candles, and 20 small ones. and i think i can safely say she has a F for math, because when i reached home, my mum screamed and i had to pause my Dark Knight with the Joker's face right in the middle of my screen and go see what's wrong. the girl gave me 8 big candles, and 40 small ones. (roll eyes)

so my mum rambled on and on about me taking so much, which i can't be bothered to explain the situation anyway, not when i want to get rid of the joker's face from my screen. so in the end i put four candles in the middle, 7 on the left and 8 on the right. and i told mummy and daddy to blow their share.

whahahaha!!!! crazy ideas from a crazy daughter.

HAPPY BDAE MUMMY AND DADDY

oreo cake from angie's choice was a mistake. should have gotten the chocolate one. (bang table)

eitherway, watched Zhou Ri Ba Dian Dang, saw people skipping, the guy looks quite shuai, but a bit dumb... and the last part with the haunted house and people finding clues. whahahaha!!! laughed my head off each time they burst out screaming. whahahahha!

oh i forgot to mention, i went to temple and of all people i saw, i saw Mr. Turtle... and i'm thinking... whatever i prayed for that day would be negated... and true enough, my mum kept harping on that coincidence that i saw a friend at the temple until i had to tell her i won't call my friends next time if i see them out on the streets then she stopped. sheesh.

so anyway, back to watching the Dark Knight, which was a disaster because i couldn't hear what they are talking about, but for some reason the Joker's voice was quite clear... well, i really take my hat off that one. he is really good with acting.

and then it happened. part two was unloadable... so i'm left hanging at the begining of the show not knowing left or right. what a bummer. irritating the hell out of me. forget it, since you refuse to let me watch it, i shan't then. i knew seeing Mr. Turtle at the temple was a bad omen.

then i went to load hellboy. another disaster. i finish loading the show, but i was cut off 3 minutes into the show. sweet... Mr. Turtle, i think i should change his name. Mr. BadLuck. yep. or maybe Joker reversed. since whenever he appeared people will die. eitherway.

so all in all, i only caught 1 movie out of 3 yesterday... D-Wars. not a bad show actually, if your attention is on the snake and the dragon, and not the people involved. the music was nice, but undownloadable... the snake was cool. but the dragon, i get the feeling something is wrong with it... but then what can i expect? it was a budget show anyway. snakey snakey snake. comee hereeee snakey!!!!

iceberg is still not back from laundry, glacier is sitting at the window being aired... life without them is indeed sucky...

ok i think that's enough writing. better get back to 'show and tell' or i'll be screwed.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Friday, July 25, 2008


these few days while i'm sick with an angsty stomach, down with fatigue and the addiction of my comfy bed was really insightful. not that i realised what food poisoning/stomach flu/gastric blah blah blah is finally because quite frankly i really haven't got the faintest idea what hit me. but physical damage aside, i realise i've been living these months in delusion.

and the sickness that i was down with, whatever that was, was really reality check. despite trying to combat it by myself, barfing everything i ate and keeping it hidden from my mum until i couldn't take it anymore and made a dash for the bathroom right under her nose. physically, i try to be independent. but mentally, i realise i've been too reliant.

i always thought andrew saches' lessons was true. that reciprocation exists and is a powerful tool of influence and persuasion. but like i said, it doesn't exist in singapore. in fact many of his tools are not powerful here, though they may be back in the U.S. and i've come to realise that, sometimes, you predict this to be so, hence hoping people pick up nonverbal cues and so on, and hence deriving at the desired outcome, that's call day dreaming.

and i really learnt that individualism, despite how collectivists see it, is in fact an important value to have and use. why else would America succeed better than other cultures, despite the many bad images they already have.

seriously, i've got to stand on my own. frankly, just throwing out missy goody two shoes for a moment, and everything will make sense.

how many times have i hoped that people will come help me but none did even if they knew my plight?

how many times have i hoped people might pick up signs and render help so as to save me from asking the awkward question of asking?

how many times have i tried to get my way but because i was bounded by collectivistic unspoken rules?

alot

many

lost count.

so am i turning against my culture? i mean it's seriousy driving me insane to be constantly reminded of my own roots and at the same time presented with another side of th coin which everything i learn seems to apply.

i tried my best to make everyone happy. and i hate it when i'm the one doing all the work. because that's the sick part of being in a collectivistic culture. everyone waits for everyone to move. and that 'i thought this is so hence i didn't' thing.

seriously, i feel like burying myself away and probably everyone will feel relieve that they finally gotten rid of me.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


i think i owe many people an apology for being angsty and a prick and a jerk these days. so, sorry Tali, phoenix, Egg, Shinn, yandao, Ivan and Tree.

looking through the ss i have in the folders reminded me of the many things that i wanted to do and almost forgot about.

Eli looks funny wearing jester and calaf... she looks like someone trying to seduce ppl... seriously the calaf looks wrong! omg. whatever.

Eli has been holding the arc staff with tma 82 for close to 20 lvls. a breakthrough record. surprisingly. and now she has to say goodbye to the staff. weep.

hino looks so gu niang on her.

tali looks like ultra-girl wearing the hat.

i wan buy leaf.

i wan new shoes.

I WAN A BREAK FROM SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!! AND ALL THE HECTIC STUFF!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!

ok, get back to my project. bye

grimmjow i love you.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Sunday, July 20, 2008


when you're down in the dumps, what do you need?

everyone has their own way of dealing with it.

but what if that way or ways aren't available?

businessman they either max out their profits, and in event if they don't, at least, minimize their costs.

and in this case, i'm trying to minimize cost. but somewhere out there is a rival who wants to make me lose more money and hoping i'll declare bankruptcy.

and that's what's irritating the hell out of me, and i am ONE INCH from blowing up the entire place into bite size pieces.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Saturday, July 19, 2008


i think i should really take back what i said some time ago. i remember saying 'i don't emo, i get angry'...

i think that's kinda fake, now that i think, i AM emo-ing. for several reasons.

1. being left out

2. loss of entertainment

3. i dunno how to answer somebody's question

4. and why is it that the book andrew saches made us painstakenly read for a slaughering exam is so true elsewhere but doens't seem to apply here in singapore and i find myself in the situation where there's no escape

5. why is it that i felt as though i was being betrayed

6. victimized for all sorts of nonsense

7. going to die of another slaughtering exam because i haven't started revision. (i wonder why is it that always at the eve of exams i'll blog when i should be studying)

i sense that there's something wrong in life. but just can't pinpoint what. somehow, somewhere, something went wrong and i didn't know.

and as much as i'm a control freak, it tears me apart to know that i'm out of control of something and emo-ing in a corner.

if only i can stand out in that heavy rain outside of my window and get wet and cold just for the fun of it.

damn it.

teared for a while when i saw the pillars of support was guarded by Shuuhei!!! and Ikkaku!!! and Yumichika. and i dunno why... kira is there also. that guy, seriously, what my uni-mates are saying 'chap ji ka'. whahahaha ya, kira you sux! lousy emo crappy sadistic brainless loser! wahahahahaa!!!!

whatever.

i saw shuuhei and i'm like 'omg!!! you are still here!!!!'

but then suddenly i remembered.

WHERE IS GRIMMJOW!!!!! HOW IS HE DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! HELP!!!!

renji is fine, byakuya definately, rukia is fighting, ishida can ignore, sado is also there, but where is GRIMMJOW?!?!!

ok i think i should really go back to study, before i really screw myself for it...

hungry.... where's my chicken rice!!! and my chocolate!!! and my ice-cream!!!!

pika pika. meeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


as i went through the 'textbook' for that saches' class (honestly i hate to pronunce his name so i'll just keep it as 'persuasion'), i realise, ya, that rule of reciprocity is true. doing someone a favor, and the person feels indebt to you, there is a need to repay your favor, cos the feeling of being indebt to someone is horrible (quoted from mr persuasion), so they are much likely to comply to your request next time. and there are many little factors that affects the magnitude of reciprocity, also then there are exceptions.

as i was reading on the train, ya, i thought it made perfect sense. human mind is shaped to perceive things as they are presented, that's why education exists to (unwilling quote) promote rhetoric, to seek the truth.

then i thought to myself, something is wrong here. something is very very wrong here. why is it that this is not the case here? i don't see that happening. or am i blind?

then i realise as i stepped onto the escalator with the book back in my bag, that's the thing about culture, which makes you love and hate at the same time.

collectivist culture. really, we live in a collectivistic culture, where the 'united we stand, divided we fall' thing applies. so everyone is linked to another person, and face saving is so important than having business done.

so here's the catch. collectivistic culture has this unspoken rule that says 'develop a good relationship with everyone you meet'. which simply translate into, in a crude way, do that so as to save face and don't embarrass others in time to come because with a good relationship, it brings that ah beng saying into play.

'aiya, we are brothers! nevermind one la!'

so, ok. this is how it is. with good relationship, it seems that people are forgiving and more tolerant because simply of that good relationship in play. that's where reciprocity fail to apply here. people will think it's ok to be indebt, since they are 'brothers', and next time they will repay.

but the bigger catch is here. individualism vs collectivism. we asians may think that americans are selfish because they are more self-oriented, but they are not, it's just their culture of being independent, which is admirable in reality. but there is just that fine line separating individualism and selfishness.

so when someone does someone a favor, when this someone is in need, many a times they don't find help from people close to them. why? there's where the individualism and selfishness comes into play. people trying to 'act' individualistic, by saying 'i can't help', 'i dunno', 'it's not my business', that, is selfishness.

the collectivistic sense gives people the false impression that the debt is paid through the relationship they have. it is only natural that they receive help, and since they are a unit, there's no need to repay the favor.

at this point, how i wish i'm from an individualistic culture and say 'what a load of bullshit'.

it simply just shows that the guilt factor simply doesn't play here. that instead of being individualistic, people are just being selfish.

take the mrt scene for example. at the interchange, many people are getting down, many people are getting on.

an individualistic person would be thinking: i should let others come out first so that i myself can enter the mrt.

but a selfish person would think: i need to get in first or else i don't have a seat or place to stand, or worse, i'll not be able to get onboard.

and you want to know the situation i see every freaking day? there is a jam and nobody can enter. why?

because there are simply too many selfish idiots trying to board the mrt!

the announcements have been repeating for god knows how many irritating times 'please allow passengers to alight first before boarding'

and in four, FOUR freaking languages. are you telling me that these people who dressed up absolutely nicely to go wherever they want can't understand their mother tongue or english? well in that case these people please drink a bottle of kool-aid and stop wasting the earth's resources.

so as i mug on for tomorrow's exam, i seriously shake my head and want to go tell Saches, what you are teaching us is absolute bullshit, at least in our context.

so (quoting Paris, Rockstar and honolulu) 'Time's up, you gotta stop.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Sunday, July 13, 2008


THAT'S IT! i tell you people can get traumatised by many things, and i tell you, as creepy as that might sound, that is an absolute rate buster in the history of traumatizing events.

through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable circumstance which has nothing whatsoever to do with me, ehem ehem blah blah ya ya we we see see. people whom i had a rather good impression of became bad, and those whom i have already a bad impression of turn even worse.

i shall only harp on a few, because if i were to say out everything i'll take me until monday and i'll still be typing.

good turn bad:

yes, at first i thought she was nice, but the moment she made her entrance on the bike, shortly after that it the 'f' word, it's 'good bye image'. then later i hear loud screechy voices. hmm.. ignoring. another comment, nevermind. fall from 8th floor to 4th floor.

next. ehem. are you sure he's twenty? if that is, isn't he the same age as i am to be this year?! ARE YOU SURE?!!?!??! i'm sorry i think my ears have water in them so i think i didn't hear correctly. and i'm sure i was pretty much hypnotised at that point. so nevermind. another from 8 cm to 4 cm.

creepy people with creepy stares, but nevermind i don't know this person so forget it. shall not comment.

bad turn worse:

number one on the list is auntie. whoa, forgive me for harping on this but I REALLY CANNOT STAND HIS VOICE!!!! oh me gosh la. and mr half, i feel like slapping you when you said this person's voice is like Eric Tsang... WHAT THE!!!!!! and you, really sound like auntie! omg. AND STOP CALLING ME GUITAR GIRL! JUST BECAUSE I GOT A HUGE DISTORTED GUITAR ON THE BACK OF MY SHIRT DOESN'T MEAN I'M THAT! and stop harping on me teaching you piano. AND STOP HARPING ON ME BEING ANTI-SOCIAL! IF I REALL AM, I WOULD'T EVEN SHOW MY FACE!

next one is the half boiled egg. also known as mr. emo to me. so you not happy with me la. ask me to 'xiao xin yi dian'. you wait lor. your school is just next door! the only saving grace is that you really did shut up. because if you really made another scene, worse than what i wrote in my previous post, i swear i will throw you into the sea and let you go find your brothers MR CRAB!

little miss loud speaker. sometimes people just have this aura that even you don't know them, one look and you'll know who this person is. and then ya, turns out pretty clear cut that whatever she says which i overheard was rather falsifiable. but then let's not say too much, beware of karma.

ok let me stop and get back to my project. seriously. the only saving grace was psp. and the 3 victories. Whoo ho!!!!! yay yay!! please address me as Shifu next time you see me kimmy! Whahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Thursday, July 10, 2008


GO TO HELL

DAMN YOU

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Sunday, July 6, 2008


what do you do when you meet a creepy person?

do you run or you confront?

well, frankly, unless you confront the person, you wouldn't know if he's creepy or not right?

but for me, i chose to play with fire, pardon me a little, because i didn't know it'll blow up that big.

and then i had to do damage control.

all in all, like in my previous post, i did say i cannot make friends with this person, and my conclusion stays so. yes, this person is nice, yaa yaa wee wee see see. but so? you can't deny that he is creepy after what he did.

sure i was mean, by suan-ing and bullying kimmy, well xiao qiang and i had fun, but we never go beyond what we always do. but this person, once he decided to bet, he'll bet a stash of cash. mind you, it's a stash, not a stack...

and something he said, made me wonder if it's true for all guys. sorry for stereotyping, but i can't help but harp on his phrase 'don't care for her too much', and 'don't show your love for her by caring for her'.

were those phrases like that? hmm, i can't remember the second one, but the first one definitely i saw.

at that point of time i wanted to cut him off, because me being a girl there, i think that phrase sounded rather wrong.

but either way, usually, as i've said many times, i'll be the one to clean up the mess, and to do damage control, i managed to turn the table around, according to truth, just, tweak it around to view it from another perspective. i mean, afterall, it could be real isn't it?

then again, when i sat down and think, it was really a close shave. and he really went too far. perhaps to him, it wasn't far enough. afterall, his guts is of course higher than mine. but given me, i wouldn't have betted so high.

so at the end of it, some missing pieces starts to reform, and the broken links are once again connected. and i made sense out of some of the query i had last time.

my conclusion, stay away from this person.

which is why i'm having second thoughts about going for the event. i mean, yes he is smart, but like xiao hui's portfolio says 'that which proves too much proves nothing'. he is smart to think about things that are underlying, but not that smart as to go one step further.

dealing with this person requires craft, but i'm not so sure as i'm up to it or not. because things have come to the stage where any wrong move and it'll be mayday plus doomsday for me.

but even as i say so, there are events that happened just in recent times where i think, diffusion of responsibility and bystander effect isn't such a bad thing after all. i mean why trouble yourself to do things which you frankly, don't have to, unless you pledge loyalty already.

despite that, i come back once again to my point as i said to kimmy countable hours ago.

these people are my friends, i can't just sit around watch show eat popcorn.

but! one thing i know, is that to stay away from creepy people, because circumstances might just get out of control and arrows start to fly...

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Friday, July 4, 2008


the one thing that i hate about blogs is that it's so damn freaking public that sometimes you can't say what you want to say, why you are angry, why you are sad. it's always only why you are happy that can be put down here.

but it is a rare case that i'm happy. so it's freaking irritating that you can't find an outlet to let it all out.

screw life. life sux

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

bad decision to go cycling today. let's start with the top shall we?

first of all, i wanted to wake up early, who knows, i was rather immersed in my First magazine in the morning that i slept at 4. and with my lazy habit of '5 more minutes, round off to the nearest half hour', i ended waking at 2 plus. and so with mummy home with the usual nagging 'go exercise' routine, and with another reason which i shall not devulge since it's pretty much history and i didn't get back what i lost, which until now i'm still cursing and swearing at it, i decided to go cycling.

so ya ya we we se se, i watched zohan before i left house, frankly, i rather hate the concept of the sexual content in it. and despite being a 'cultural sensitive' communicator, which 14 oct libras are blessed with, apprently, i am starting to wonder, is that really true? because for a movie to depict such thing, such as going back to illustrate the fact that 'sex sells' is certainly stereotyping... but nevermind, i'm here to rant about my bike trip and not this movie. funny movie by the way, but not as funny as Get Smart.

one note before i go back to biking, lately there has been a downsilde of the quality of movies, i can't seem to find a movie that i DIE will buy it and watch it over and over again. so is this a sign? it bloody hell better be not or i swear i'll jump off my block.

getting back to biking, so i got off my lazy butt and carried my bike up 1 flight of stairs and down the lift, only to find that someone, let me rephrase that, some Bastard had tampered with my seat.

because my mum couldn't be the one, since she's shorter than i am, and hence wouldn't do such a stupid thing. neither can my maid because she knows nuts about bikes. and my dad don't know how to cycle.

so whoever you are who tampered with my seat and make it so high and shaky, i curse you and i curse your bike if you have one that your bike explode. and quite franky, i have an idea who you are due to the fact that i found a bike seat lying on the steps and after that migrated to the railings of the 1st floor stairs and a shadow taking flight. ya, screw you, hope your bike explode. your tires bomb, your screws fall out, your gears jam, and your chain break.

!!@!^&$#@!@#$%^&$#@!~@#$%">&;^%$#@!@#$%$#@!~@#$%

so ending up, i sat on this wobbly seat for the whole of 2 hours, fearing for my life if it suddenly were to dislodge. and with that fear, i can't concentrate on my biking, and my songs. yeah, so SCREW YOU BIG TIME TO THE IDIOT WHO TAMPERED WITH MY SEAT! I REALLY HOPE YOUR BIKE EXPLODE!

and i think something's wrong with the terrains of my bike route. well acclaim it partially to my stamina, because for today i stopped for a total of five times, FIVE! i literately hopped down the bike and pushed the bike across a distance before cycling. and the two major uphills are giving me trouble.

and the freaking chain and gear, they actually CRACK in the middle of my peddling. i know it has been going on for quite some time, which is why i hate i when people break my momentum.

so here i thought, what a nice day to go cycling. the sun is nowhere to be found, clouds are white with no grey patches, and it seems so quiet. there are so little joggers that their numbers are negligible as compared to other days. so it means no handsome joggers on the routes. oh but there was one, who restricted his route to just his compound as compared to the sunny windy lane next to it. well, your loss, my gain. and you can't hear me singing while cycling, which means i get to shout out the lyrics.

and so, punggol decided to upgrade itself huh. so many construction work going on, so many trucks and thanks to this particular truck, my chain and gear cracked twice. and no to mention the wobbly seat. i'm still cursing you whoever did it.

maybe it was my own fault because i was singing alot while cycling that it takes more effort to cycle, and not to mention today is a windy day with all the against the wind routes. but i'm really freaked out but some parts of it because, when i'm near civilization, yes i'm using that word, my bike can go fast even when it's against the wind. but when i'm in some rural 'undeveloped' place, my bike will become so heavy even when there's no wind and it's flat ground. kinda freaky, so i keep turning around to check my surroundings. makes me wonder if there's something that's following me...

but whatever it is, i still saw some things worth noticing. all the bougainvilleas growing without soil at the highway road makes me realise how strong and precious a life is, and that even in the most harsh conditions a life can still grow and blossom.

and someone stuck a model crane in the middle of the field outside sengkang, it looked so freaking funny to see a crane standing in the middle of the field. it's a model, i know, and not the real bird. because birds are highly sensitive creatures and they'll be moving about.

and lastly, a huge thanks, a big hug, but sorry no kiss, to dear Wendy who sent me this wonderful marvelous song 'jibun no tame ni' which accompanied me through the most bumpy and unstable quarter of my ride. really saved my life because the song is just so motivating and that it really drives all the unhappiness and anger out of my mind and just to enjoy the wind and sun.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


gosh, the last time i updated is like i dunno how long ago. hmm.. not making any sense as usual, but nevermind.

i think, in additon to my usual hate list and the recently added love list, i should add another one, the Stupid list. inspired by Xiao Qiang, i think i should... and number 1 on the list, would be TKA, known as Kimmy1988, or short Kimmy, or like what Xiao Qiang calls, 'Kimberly Anne'.

well, bullying kimmy has become a routine, and for some reason, Tree seems to be cracked up by that slow conversation that i sent, and seem to be making reference to it for quite a number of times, to the extend i wonder how often did he read that thing. but when he says 'i read until my cheeks cramp from laughing', i think something is seriously wrong with him...

talk about bullying kimmy, it was great fun. considering his 'history' of being a 'logistics' back in SRGE days. 'Kimmy, off aircon'. 'kimmy, on aircon'. but now, it's 'Kimmy, help me refine ore'. 'kimmy, help buy pot'. Whahahahaha. well, Buffy asked 'is kimmy a boy or girl'. and i guess it's pretty universal that it's just a matter of time, or rather next saturday when people gets a shock of life when they find out his sexuality.

but don't blame me for being so mean, he gets women's clothes all the time, and i'm starting to think he's a half. well. anyone who knows him would think he is anyway, or at least 25%/75%. whatever.

enough about kimmy. i'm rather irritated by his speed of understanding.

oh ya, reminds me of Tree. who said something one time, that i really want to kill him. because, sometimes, jokes go too far. sensitive issues are sensitive issues. there are limits to how far you can go in terms of jokes.

and Egg. or Eggy they call. my conclusion with this person is despite him being a nice person, i cannot make friends with this person in real life. i will quarrel with him. well, different frequencies just means different frequencies.

and i realise something, that recent events has led me to think, 'what the hell is wrong with this world'.

it's not so much as 'things not going according to plan'. but it's just some things you see, that makes you wonder 'am i in the right world?'

and quite frankly, there are two reasons why i stop wearing glasses on the way to school and on the way back. 1, i hate my look in spects, seriously, i think i look like a geek. and 2, i can stop noticing things happening around me.

no, i can see without my glasses, just that i can't see the board that tells me how long is the next train arriving, but i can at least see the features of this cute japanese guy across me in the train. but at least, it stopped me from noticing things that are otherwise brought to my attention everyday for the last two semesters. it's not so much about avoiding people, but sometimes, there are some things around you that you don't want to see, yet they are near you that you can't ignore. but without my glasses, at least they are blurry images that i can choose to ignore since, i can't see them.

but at times, things are just happening around you that make you question why is it that it happened. and like i said last time, some things cannot be explained, so lets just leave it at that.

one thing bad about not noticing things is that, trying not to notice the bad stuffs only means missing out on the good stuff. like i said some time back about my biking trip that i missed so many things, frankly, i can't put them in this context as to the route i go and back from school.

no school today, but tonnes of things to do.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.: