Monday, March 17, 2008


all i can say is that i find that it's unfair to me. afterall i didn't do anything wrong and by right i shouldn't be deserving this.

it's either the computer's fault or her fault.

and since the bottomline is that, ultimately, it is her fault.

i mean, as much as i want to forget my birthdate, there's no way i can shade the damn date wrongly when i have been living for how many years? and that days ago i shaded the exact same thing down on another scantron sheet.

and i double-checked.

so?

you can't blame me for hating her.

and something else is bothering me.

and it feels like i've been wearing the invisibility cloak for a long time.

and frankly, it hurts to have mean things done to you, directly indirectly it doesn't make a difference.

getting emo soon, but i guess it's still i my me alone on this.

life sux, i hate the world, end of story.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Friday, March 14, 2008


today in the midst of the entropy thing during ESL 408, my mind wondered away for a split second and suddenly i had this feeling that everything was back to their original state.... back to last sem or at least before chinese new year... something like how you feel when you woke up in the morning and remembering a peaceful day yesterday...

but as random as that thought came, it went away as soon as my mind loves to tune to reality channel. and i suddenly realise how much chaos i've been living with... and i realise, all hell broke loose ever since that faithful day...

seriously... i think i need some peace and quiet for once, just one freaking day all to myself without having to worry about anything that is out of my circle of concern, and be myself...

and i realise... i've not been keeping the balance of reality VS fantasy...

so yes, i'm striking out the first item on my wish list...

i mean, let's face it. only child kids are the ones ought to be the most independent ones.

ah well, when it feels like the world has turned its back on me, i just feel like turning my back on the world...

i'm not making any sense here... ya... i thought about a lot of things on the mrt just now, but it has all escaped me now that i'm actually here....

whatever...

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Saturday, March 8, 2008


if there's one thing i learnt today, that is love, is a four letter word, spelt with two consonents and two vowels. and if you think the word is fantastic because it brings about wonderful things, think again. it has either unconsciously or consciously brought along a few friends which love holds by the hands, and that's hate, hardship, suffering, jealousy and sadness. and trailing behind them, is death.

and i've realised how fickle-minded i am, always. by the way, credits to Zeph, who helped me get a webbie that hosted Zombie Powder. wondering what the hell that is, it is an earlier piece of work written by the ever genius of draggy twisty plot of BLEACH.

heard of it quite some time ago, and realised that the protagonist of the story resembles Grimmjow a lot. both of them had similar hair, tall stature, mascular, uses 'sword', something on their cheek, and most prominent of all, both of them had a different arm, just that it's on different sides.

but the big difference is that, Akutabi Gamma is a funny guy, who does silly things at times, caring, sweet and loving. he can crack up sometimes, but he is always putting others before him, and possess that quality that makes me like that character at first impression.

notice that i actually hated Grimmjow Jaegerjaques at first, but for some reason 'fell in love' with him after a while...

and was reading Zombie Powder till the wee hours of the morning before dragging myself away to finish some evaluation for school. and i realise that it's been such a long time ever since i read a manga and was laughing and 'falling in love' at the same time.

frankly, though i'll probably get shot for saying this and for being extremely ooc, but one of my 'criteria' for significant other is that he must be able to make me laugh. not by his words or whatsoever, but just those unconscious little things he does that defines who he is that makes me laugh. and now you'll proabaly be concluding that such people don't exist in real life, and i'll tell you that's the reason why i fantasise.

and for some reason, i must really get credit for being a prophet since, i have the tendency to keep repeating something over and over again, and unknowingly, it'll happen in the future. and i kept emphasising that i want 'my version of Grimmjow' because in case you havent' notice, he has pretty scary eyes and loves to rip things apart... you wouldn't want him as your significant other... yeah...

and then, Akutabi Gamma came in, just as how i wanted my Grimmjow to be. so no i have a dillema...

Akutabi Gamma, a wanted criminal with a price of 960,000,000 nits on his head with a dumb funny face to make you laugh and caring and sweet and puts others before himself

OR

Grimmow Jaegerjaques, someone whom i shared 19 similar points, has a relatively more normal anatomy than Gamma, whose voice can easily send me walking into lamposts and lure me to sleep, and the one whom i initially 'fell in love' with

but one thing is clear.

the part about being a prophet has shed some light on this issue. whatever i wanted but never really wanted will come true. and this issue is enough to tell me that, 'my version of Grimmjow' would only appear in fantasy and not real life, just as how Akutabi Gamma came to me.

in short. 'he' does not exist, and never will.

so yes, if i have to fantasize for the rest of my life, so be it.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Thursday, March 6, 2008


i have no doubt officially entered hell

not that you cared anyway.

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

it's a good thing that i live in a place where wielding a penknife at someone can land you in jail.

cos there are a few people whose throats i want to hold a samurai sword to...

and a few hearts i want to drive a stake through...

time to update my hate list. IN ORDER OF HATRED THIS TIME

1. the spice which we use to cook food and eat without actually knowing it's in there, which starts with a beautiful flower 'rose' and ends with a common to core name 'mary'

2. as usual, the 'donkusai no iebae'

3. the 'hentai no tsubo'

4. inoue orihime

5. hinamori momo

6. Szayel Apporo Grantz (strangely i hate him so much that i remember his name)

7. Nnoitra Jiggura (whatever spelling, although, i kinda pity him for his plight and becos of Nel, but this bloody idiot sliced my darling! so yeah...)

8. Uchiha Itachi

9. Uchiha Sasuke (8 and 9 goes together because they are just too sickening)

10. lastly, something which you can play hang man with, that has two vowels and two consonents.

and my love~ list

1. ~Grimmjow Jaegerjaques~

2. Byakuya

3. Renji

4. Suwabe Junichi

5. Ice Berg

6. Glacier

7. Tsuchiura Ryuutaro

8. Itou Kentaro

9. Yusa Koji

10. Kon!

11. Rukia

12. Temari

13. Jack Sparrow

my wish list in no particular order except for the 1st item (let me indulge a bit, though i know nobody's going to care)

1. ______________ (shall not disclose what that is... since... hmm... nevermind)

2. a big gigantic huggable soft cute plushie/stuffie

3. 6th division captain coat

4. Grimmjow's arrancar uniform, but if there's a life-size him, i don't mind

5. noise blocking earphones

6. assorted nail polish

7. violin

8. soundtracks

9. dvds

10. nintendo DS

11. chocolates!!!!

12. ice-cream!!!!

13. jackets, esp the 2 damn cool ones from zara...

can't think of anymore...

well, who cares about what i want anyway? (shrugs)

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.:

Saturday, March 1, 2008


i think i have the tendency to freak out at times, and laugh when i'm at CP

just now i was in CC going to pay for a book, and i have no idea how the person at the cashier did that but she managed to make my book fly about 1 metre away from me.

and i was uttering a 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa' there an she immediately said 'i'll give you a new one'.

and i can't stop laughing when i got out of there...

.~*^Twilight Ring^*~.: