Sunday, September 6, 2009
incidentally this is the 300th post if this entire weblog. and i amaze myself sometimes.
came back from running just now, and i concluded that i should permanently superglue my earphones into my ear and make sure the ipod is implanted into my body. it is a mistake to prolong myself to isolation from music, as it is suicidal (in my case) to be thinking in an off-tangent way. and through that i've realised that music not only is what kept me going all these while, it is what defined my thinking even for a few seconds. and that was what defined who i am, sorta like an identity. and seriously, without that, i'll be like what happened on the streets.
and talk about identity. i realise that i've been chasing after Raiin in the wrong way. (again, and as usual). to be honest, i'm not exactly happy going back to school, although i really wanted to during the holidays. but after what i've seen and what i've just saw myself getting into, it might have been a better idea to not have done so.
apparently, i've just realised (or perhaps realised long ago but refused to admit it), is that i am always judged before i was even introduced to. even as i'm typing this, my hands can't seem to continue with my thoughts because it is just so hard.
it's only the start of the 2nd week. even before it started, i hoped desperately for a good start. and things just happen like this. the more you want something, the less likely it'll turn up, or worse, it gave you the worst of the worst.
hard to try to look on the bright side of things, but perhaps the news of november's release of resident evil darkside chronicals does seem to have cheered me up a little. just a little.
"compared to the ways to solve a problem, the more important thing is the power of believing"
i tried believing, i guess i'll give it another shot. because, what saved me back in the early 2000's should be able to perform the same miracle now. i hope. and this isn't some dumb anime/manga crap...
