Monday, May 4, 2009
equivalent trade: people cannot gain anything without sacrificing something. you must present something of equal value to gain something. that is the principle of equivalent trade in alchemy.
until the end, the principle was rejected, because there are somethings that were gained without sacrifice, and somethings were sacrificed without any gain.
but up till now, it's clear, that some things that are gained, may not be material, nor resemble anything that was presented as an equal value. and somethings, no matter how you sacrifice it, it will never be gone, and what comes is only a stronger and valuable equal to the one you traded. such as bonds...
bonds between brothers, lovers, parents, comrades. no matter how you severe them, they come back stronger than ever, that is if they manage to withstand the severe. by itself, it defied the law of conservation, as known as equivalent trade. so is revenge...
staying up late into the morning, once again, i cried. and never before once, have i regretted being emotional, because it puts me right into people's shoes and walk a mile in them, whether they were alive or dead, real or imaginary.
something that i once gave up on, that i discarded, and in the midst of finding myself once again, i decided to go back to the basics. and i picked it up from the begining.
i guess there are some bonds in this world that can never be formed given your background and history. and some bonds seem too farfetched to even think about it.
but i believe that's the reason why i chose this path. to live my life, fufill my desires and dreams through desires and dreams.
a coin has two sides, a world would have its parallel. nothing is entirely bad, neither is anything entirely good. taking what's considered to be good and turning it into something of your own, and discarding anything that's bad and turning it into something that's not yours.
there's no one ultimate theory that the world follows. that's probably the real truth behind all truths. that nothing is absolute, nothing is perfect, which is why this world is beautiful... a man with an eye-patch once said this to a woman while holding her hair. a man well over his time once said this to his lost son.
i guess that's why all veterans ultimately turn to embracing the world as their final research and education, because that's what they probably found out in the end. and perhaps that's why people say they searched far and wide, travelled the world, tried on different roles, and in the end they still come back to themselves.
i have a naive thinking, of turning what's not real into real, thinking that they exist, through the various little messages they hold, the lessons they taught through the imaginary and unreal.
but i'm satisfied with what i have now, at least they gave me a sign of hope, and that i do have a place to return to, that i can be a better person in future. i tried venturing out, and i was hurt and lost. but in the end, i came back to where i was, doing what i'm good at doing, and found that i needed it more than before.
i guess that's a bond. a bond that no matter how many times you severe, it comes back stronger. it is a bond with the unreal, with the non-existent, with the imaginary. i guess i should have realise it long ago. but each fall has its lesson, and i've learnt this one.
i don't have a brother, but someone is loving his brother, on my behalf.
i don't have a lover, but someone is loving her lover, on my behalf.
i don't have powers to change the world, but someone is using his power to change his world on my behalf.
i don't have many things, but there are people out there, possessing it on my behalf.
and i have many things, i'm possessing it on their behalf.
i have loving parents, and i'm taking care of my parents on their behalf.
i have a home, and i'm living in it on their behalf.
equavilent trade?
i guess it doesn't really matter. because no matter what, we all exist in which ever world we live in, and that's all that mattered...
