Saturday, November 1, 2008
it's been some time i updated, but i really have a lot to say.
i know it's over, and that we all did great. i apologise, not for the mistakes that i made during the presentation or the preparations, but for my undermining everyone's efforts by emo-ing. we did great. and we all learn out of this presentation.
a lot of things has happened now that i look back at the short two to three weeks. it seemed to me like a roller coaster ride, crazy at that point, but after that it seem nothing at all. going by law of attraction, what did i asked for, believed in and received that made all these happen?
was watching happily never after that time, there was this phrase that came out. "do i get what i want? do i want what i get?"
in fact i ask myself, whatever happened to me that sort of changed me to be like this? i know in the past this is not who i am. i wouldn't be able to do all that i have done today if i was still the 'me' in the past. it's kinda scary if you look at it from both sides. through the eyes of the old me, i'll probably freak out. but through the eyes of the me now, i think it's ok.
how incredible people change.
but ultimately, i think the most incredible thing about life is how the tables turn, universe manipulates to whatever we have today. things that you never thought will happen, happened for the most wildest of reasons. thing you never expected in your wildest dreams turns up at your doorsteps. things you never wanted, be it good or bad, manages to squeeze itself into your life.
perspectives change, that's why the things that you want last time expires in today's life. but i guess it's the living in the now that matters. and i believe in the analogy, that life is like a river. from birth, you flow, at death, you empty into the sea. at times it's peaceful, others is in rapids. people step into your life, step out, but you are constantly changing yourself, you can never step into the same river twice.
but unlike the river, changes in human takes time, it might be valid to change yourself now, but by the time the change is complete, it might be useless at that point. this is where people get their disappointments.
i am, disappointed. but i don't feel the need to regret, because i know that was what i wanted. and though it might seem mundane and lifeless, compared to people having fun, i guess a little paraphrasing and looking at it from another perspective, does seem to work. it doesn't really matter. because i know, i should and have to live for myself, at least at this moment.
bro said something about me last night, or rather this morning that the paraphrasing seem to throw realization into me.
"ni tai zhi zhuo le. zhe shi ni de you dian, ye shi ni de que dian"
i really wanted to laugh. spot on, bro. that's why many times i said to pal, i really wish i had ning's attitude.
"tian ta xia lai dang bei gai"
what will come, will come, and when it's over, leave it and don't look back, except to take with you the lessons you learn and change for the better.
what will come will come, that i can't stop
take with you the lessons you learn, yeah i can do that, i have good memory
change for the better, i'm trying
leave it and don't look back. hahaha that's where i need to learn.
i'm thankful for everything i have, the friends i have, and the life i'm leading now.
