Wednesday, October 22, 2008
incredible, i swear this is the most funniest time i had in Toys 'rus. whahahahaha!!!!! whoever is responsible for the unbreakable laugh, pls own up yourself. and i saw a halloween scythe and trident!!!!!!! I WANT!!!!!!!!! and not to mention the little kid with the vampire mask and sword. whahahahaha!!!!!!
ooooo, finally, after vivo is built, i got to play with the wading pool, and it was drizzling. and singing songs in public, and laughing at SOMEONE's unglam-ness. whahahahahaha!!!!!
AND THE HAMSTERS ARE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess there are things that requires tremendous courage and ability to put up a front for. and i felt that at times, i really lack that. was walking home from the mrt with noots playing in my ear, and on usual days the song will be pumping my spirits up, but somehow today was different and it pumped it down. and walking through the crowd outside the ntuc was in fact terrible as i guess even without my glasses, i'm sure my eyes were shiny. tilting my head sorta helped a little.
but i guess what really stopped me was Raiin. i knew Raiin won't forgive me if i were to even let loose one millilitre. i mean, i am after all, Raiin. and that's who she is, what she is and how she is. it's no longer about the impregnable icy fortress to protect one's vunerability but shutting everything out. that was one lesson i had to learn the hard way.
it's about building up a fortress to not only protect oneself, but also an army to protect others who are our loved ones.
and to achieve that, it is inevitably saying Raiin is someone hard on the outside, soft on the inside. and it is not easy to reach that. because when it hits, it does hits hard. but that's where Raiin comes in. regardless of what happen, she is a pillar of support for me. but she's part of me, someone i want to become. that's what she do. stop me from falling, gives me a hand when i stagger, and push me forward.
i guess the line defining me and Raiin is blurred, but i liked it better. a path i chose, one that i know, i shouldn't and wouldn't regret.
i'm glad despite being a boat lost out in the ocean, thinking that Raiin is long gone, i guess she has returned, or she was there all along.
