Monday, September 15, 2008
i think i should give up trying to comprehend the law of attraction, much less using it to my advantage. because quite frankly, i think today's presentation didn't go well, judging from those feedback i got. and to be very superbly honest, if i typed this entry hours ago, it would have been red and with caps, because i just find that some things and people ought to be fed rat poison. forget it, i think we should have smiled more eerily with more sinister, and add in more details like before it was edited and make it as explicit as possible. all in efforts of giving you people nightmares. except maybe for one, who idolises Albert Fish and loves Ted Bundy... that one, i shall not try to comprehend, because i'll say that my threshold increased a little after completing this speech, but not to the level that i embrace the serial killers.
enough of that, i'll do my own evaluation later.
funny how history repeats itself, and i find myself once again in that position helplessly. but i'm thankful for what i saw. it was unexpected, but at least it was comforting enough to know that i can do it. and i'll keep that.
but it is rather surprising how things creep up to you, and i'm really thankful for that dream earlier during my nap. for that brief moment that i was awake, i thought it was real. of course, reality has a way of slapping truth into your face and i'm left with nothing but disappointment while lying in bed with glacier sniffing my face and iceberg strangling me. despite it was just a dream, i'm really thankful that it even happen, since for the past years it has never happened before, either it didn't come, or it came with rather horrifying details and twisted line. i know it was only a dream, but it was a dream that seemed so logical and realistic that i really thought it was happening. and i find that, in my dreams, it was never Raiin, but myself. i was the one who appeared in the dreams, not Raiin, which makes it even more realistic to be fooled to even think for a moment it happened.
perhaps i should give the law of attraction another try. perhaps not to get the scenario that was too far-fetched, but at least, to have room for more.
