Wednesday, May 28, 2008
'here, enjoy some of the ancient air conditioner'
that phrase made me laugh earlier today in the lecture theater for COM202. Namesake, that's the title of the movie honolulu showed us today. as usual, i'm always skeptical about the movies teachers showed us, but in the end i would say 'great movie' when the credits roll.
many a times when we have our own obligations, the first people we tend to neglect would be our parents. and quite frankly, it is what people keep saying 'you can't keep them forever' and 'you can't be staying by your parents forever'. and sometimes if it happens to me, i'll be reminded that what if it were something important, something that like in the movie, the mother tries to call the kid for millions of time while he's out having fun with his girlfriend, and when he's finally back, he receives news that the dad had passed away.
and one thing that struck me most dearly, is not the lives of the children, and not the huge cultural thing which i was supposed to be focusing on, but it was the life of the mother. being born and raised somewhere, and out of a sudden she's whisked away into marriage and straight away into another world, another culture, and into another life, with someone she does not really know, and a place she has never seen before.
and at that point, i was reminded of my mum. and that silent oath that i swore to myself that day i heard about it, and was reminded thanks to Qian. and when i watched the movie, all the more that oath left a deeper imprint on me.
as the show moved on, i wondered how is it that the mother actually succumb to that life she was thrown into. did she really love the husband? or was it out of pure obedience that she complied. or perhaps it was because of the children. the answer to that, i think, i'll never know.
and at the point when she cried over the husband's death, i was reminded of my grandmother, and the day at the funeral of my grandfather. and i asked myself, what is she crying for? is she crying that someone she loves is dead? if that's so does it mean she really loves him? or is it human nature that people feel sad when someone depart from the living? the answer to that, i think once again, i'll never know.
then somehow, i realise, that dreams and family are two things that, when placed on a scale, no matter how much you put in or take out, they'll never balance out. if you want dreams, you'll have to sacrifice some of family, whether is it one that you are building or already have. if you want family, whether is it the one you are building or already have, you'll have to sacrifice your dreams.
so here's my question. i have dreams, hopes, goals and targets i want, no matter how unattainable they are or how realistic they are. with that i have to sacrifice some of family, which i'm convinced i'll not have to worry about the building one part, but the one i already have. it's true, i'm spending more time with my laptop than with my parents. it is no surprise if i hear people telling me to marry my own laptop, which i don't mind, although it'll be a chore seeing that he'll probably die after a few more months of usage, or if i'm lucky enough another year more. but then i'm caught between school work, friends and family. and just as everyone else is complaining about, one day has not enough hours.
ok, i've lost my train of thoughts. i'll just stop here.
