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Saturday, April 5, 2008
call me possessive, call me bitch, call me crazy, call me pathetic, but i have to be myself. yes i am the only child, and i guess i always stay in that small microscopic portion of the world and being oblivious to other things. ok, forget that microscopic portion... i don't exist on this earth. so? things i have, thoughts that i think about and feelings i feel tend to have the illusion of 'being unique'. because, i simply have no one to share and compare. which might be the reason why i'm possessive by nature, about my beliefs and principles, and the things i have. super angst today, especially after seeing 'that'. together with mummie and daddie. daddie says it looks horrible, mummie says it looks weird. despite i know it's against my principles and beliefs (however you want to say how twisted and illogical it is), i still swayed a little, because of my nature and liking. but as usual, my heart is something that is overrated in my anatomy and my brain is the ultimate leader, and he, said no. so i stormed out looking super angst, and for the first time, it isn't about daddie's comment on 'that', but because of something intangible, that is my principle and belief meshed together. for the first time after so long, i actually bought a comic book that somehow, was in my category of liking, and i couldn't help but snicker and shake my head at that stupid housekeeper/butler in the story. screw the other commuters on the mrt, i don't care. it's been such a long time that when i read something new, and felt as though i know them for a long time already. the atmosphere is just different. i'm stuck in the middle of so many people squashing against each other, but yet i could still snicker and laugh. usually i would be cursing the auntie beside me for taking up too much space by standing sideways, the bhb guy behind me holding his newspaper so high up that it's resting on my head, and the woman with heels in front for staggering and crushing my toes. but today, it was different... comic, you are really my savior. i wonder what my personality is. maple story is enough to tell me that i'm one of those jerks who think too highly of themselves once they hit the supposedly 'superiority'. but at the same time, i can understand why these people get so frustrated when something happened. and i realise how fickle minded i am. once i was a noobie. everyone was. then i was still a noobie. and i tried to fend for people sharing the similar plight as i was once in.next i turned into a wannabe, who thinks that she's experienced enough to get angry over a plight that she was once in. at 2.30 am in the morning. i guess the day already started 'angst-ly' in the first place. that is something no red shirt and girly hairstyle and trying to be pretty and not wear glasses outside is ever going to change. why am i seriously so angst today? but i guess i know the reason now. blame it on myself, which is the simplest and easiest way out. .~*^Twilight Ring^*~.: