Monday, September 24, 2007
about my previous previous post, there's something i said i despise about some people. well i see that phrase isn't as properly elaborated and misunderstanding can occur from there. what i meant to say that is despite my parents' seemingly inferior job compared to others, in the family or outside, i respect that occupation because firstly, that's where my money, my piano, my skills and whatever that made me today came from, and also, there is where my parents learn things that cannot be found in books which they impart to me. and i despise those who judge my parents and me, from the occupation that they hold. that's all.anyway, i finally remembered what i want to type here, haha, finally. someone, said that i'm fighting against the flow, living life to the hardest and complaining about life not being good.clarification -- i'm fighting against the flow? i'm the laziest person on earth after my mentor/teacher,
Mr. Garfield. how can i be fighting against the flow? just because i like my things to be perfect doesn't mean i'm fighting against the flow! i'm merely adding on to the flow to make it better. and being a perfectionist die furthest away from perfection? so meaning those who are the most imperfect ones (those who doesn't aim for perfection and just hand in a scraggy piece of homework, metaphorically) are the ones to live forever and closest to perfection?
prediction -- so for example a boss hands an imperfectionist an important project, and just like Evan Almighty, this imperfectionist created a 'dam' that is not stable and caused a flood. on the other hand someone who knows about it, and continue to do things his way ends up building an 'ark' that saved people from dying? so in this case, the idiot who build the ark is going to die furthest from perfection, and the imperfectionist who just committed an ultimate sin is going to live forever and attain perfection?
conclusion -- if that's the case, i rather go up to empire state building and jump off, 'furthest away from perfection'. and i suggest everyone from the C type personality family to do the same. because what they are working for, which some of them are successful by the way, are not going to get them anywhere near perfection and they should just die early to prevent anymore damage.
the word
'flow' actually reminds me of something i read in an explanation of the
Heart Sutra from Buddhism. there was a page that explains some part of the sutra with the example of a river. the start of the river, the mouth, is an example of the start of a human life. and the end, which usually is the sea, would be the death of a human life. the river, winds its way through the vast lands, sometimes through rapids, sometimes through peace and quiet. as quoted
'in my life's journey, whether the path is twisted or straight, difficult or smooth, i experience all my moments fully. i definately do not wish my life's journey to be all the same smooth sailing from birth to death'. and this ties in with something i read in
Gensoumaden Saiyuki, a genius twist from the original journey to the west, classic of chinese literature. the
Bodhisattva Quan Yin, widely known as the Goddess of Mercy, here in Saiyuki known as
Kanzeon Bosatsu, said
'wouldn't it boring, if things doesn't change?' well, yeah, that's true isn't it? life's full of twists and turn, this and that. and from what i see, and my parents comment, that i'm always
'this way? uh ok.'. someone who doesn't have a stand about which way to go, and waits for life to push me in some way. and sometimes, when i think the events that happened can be disastrous, like navigating through rapids, life has to turn at the right point to ensure the boat goes through the safe points of the rapids, hence surviving the event and move on. sure it's tough, but at least i can make sure the damage is minimum and at least survive.
so from what i got that day, steering in a zigzaggy manner to ensure my safety and those onboard is
FIGHTING AGAINST THE FLOW?the meaning i get -- perfectionist attitude = fighting against the flow?i remember something from
Shrek. Shrek was saying:
"People take one look at me and go 'ARRGH! RUN! A BIG UGLY STUPID OGRE!!' they judge me before they get to know me"then after a while...
Shrek: You're not exactly what i expected you to be..Fiona: Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. i've said enough?
well, anyway went with
Zephyris to Orchad again, and came back with ultimate disappointment. because
no mangano movieno hat
no clothesbut, good thing is that
Zeph explained many of the CSE stuffs to me so yeah. big thanks and Kudos to you
Zeph. 