Saturday, April 21, 2007
just finished the last chapter of the kindaichi case files. 13 weeks. or rather 14.
felt kinda sad for the guy. really. i mean, well those victims in this case really deserved it. but i guess the real victim is the murderer himself. he lost someone he loved, lost everything by committing a crime against his career.
but then again, when am i not sad for the murderer? well perhaps for those few times where it involves the mastermind who calls himself 'the puppeteer from hell'. that one is literately a maniac, who thinks murder is a form of art. literately a direct insult to all the great artists of the world.
but then again, the law isn't always the answer to all, and there would be a time where law wouldn't coincide with what we think is justice. but what is justice in the first place, and who is has the rightful position to determine what is right or what is wrong?
it is a wonder how human nature can change the course of thinking in a person. and how environment and incidents play a major role in affecting people's actions. when i first ventured out in the series i don't understand how these people feel when they have the impulse to go murder a group of people, and to the extent of planning out a scenario so as to administer their plans and get what they want. but gradually into the series and through years of growth i felt that i can understand why they did it, no doubt what they have done is wrong, but the moment of impulse and urge in their minds can really be rather persuasive.
however, it's usually something at the end of each case that would bring the murderer to realise whatever he did was a waste or that he shouldn't have done it. a little piece of detail that was ignored or left out unintentionally that led them down the wrong path. if only they have gotten that piece of info a moment earlier before the mistake was made.
i'm rather critical about my abilities now. seems like i couldn't do anything right at the current moment. things just don't turn out the way i want it, literately. maybe i just don't have what it takes to do it? every idea i come up with seems to meet with some complications along the way, or it turns out rather horrible. discouraged? no, dishearted more like it.
it's not like i'm not confident about myself, it just that it isn't good, so no point kidding myself at that. perhaps my mother was right, perhaps everyone else was right, and i'm the only one who is wrong.
happy now fate, and luck? now that i'm down in the dumps just like how you want it?
