Monday, April 16, 2007
have been dead recently. so i'm here, back. been kinda spaced lately. new maid and all.
made three bracelets today, well, two and a half to be exact. the first one didn't turn out well, because of some of the materials i used, a particular blue acyclic sorta bead.
last night when i was doing the first piece, mummy said it looked dreadful. but then again, when she showed me what she said was 'nice', i realised that we are of wrong frequencies. to be honest, it was rather discouraging at first, since that was my first piece of accessory that i made. people say a good start is half of success (translated from Mandarin directly), so i can guess where my work is heading for. i did make changes to the bracelet, and asked Qianz about the improved one, changed it again, but in the end i still don't like how it turned out. in my opinion the name 'tears of the sea' doesn't suit the bracelet, the bracelet just didn't live up to the name.
why 'tears of the sea' you might ask, well, for once, the acyclic thing was in an oval shape, and i happen to be watching pirates of the Caribbean (doesn't come as a surprise i suppose), and suddenly i thought the word 'tears' would make a good name, since it suit the shape. then 'tears' sounded like 'tales', and 'tales of the sea' happens to be my SYF band piece back in 2003. so there you have the name. though i owe the idea to Davy Jones in Pirates, since that was the origin of the name and i was watching Tia Dalma telling his tale. he had his heart broken, weeping silent tears for the woman he loved, so i guess the bracelet's name wasn't wrongly chosen, though the look of the bracelet was the contrary.
well, making and imagining is always two different things. i was naive to think that whichever design i thought up of would turn out naturally as i've thought of it. the truth is that there are issues, such as connections and colour size compatibility. this is something which i used to pride myself in, being someone who can work out all the odds and stuff before doing it actually, since being a perfectionist and that. but apparently it was because of the perfectionist mindset that caused it all. imagining it to be too perfect, which is already a devastating move.
take the magnetic bracelet i did the other time. ok, perhaps it was my lack of judgement that lead to the failure of the first piece, but that is exactly what i'm talking about. in my mind i formed this nice piece of bracelet, but turns out it's different when i'm actually doing it. there are things that weren't in my calculations. and to think i'm always telling my parents those tiny little details they didn't take into consideration when deciding matters, as always and many times, i ought to be ashamed of myself.
last friday was Friday the 13th. people say bad things happen on that day. as it turns out, the queen of bad luck has indeed met with bad luck, which saw fit to add misery to an already shabbled life. turns out my application to NSW uni was unsuccessful. how nice, you open your email to find a rejecting letter. and apparently the other uni application results are rather bleak in colour.
somehow i wonder if heaven thinks sending me a few reviews at FF.net was a form of good news amongst bad and that it'll sorta replace the sorrow i feel these days with the extreme down luck and unsuccessful applications and products. well if that's the case i'm sorry to have to break it to you heaven, but i'm not buying that. this is not the first time i receive reviews at FF.net when days are gloomy. nope, they aren't cheering me up the least bit. when i want sunshine i've got rain. thanks a lot, really thanks a lot.
and to fate, i hate you, for turning my life for the worse. and to luck, i havent' seen you for many years since the days i broke two mirrors, and honestly, i'm not liking you either, neither am i liking your counterpart. then to happiness, abandon me for all you want, i don't care much for you anymore, since i've been living in sorrow for most of my life, there really isn't anything you've done around here. lastly to love, of the things you've done, i can only say that i neither hate nor like you.
well, i'm rather excited to go see pirates of the caribbean at world's end. not just jack sparrow, but barbossa and captain sao feng, davy jones and cutler beckett. i don't know why but i'm on the pirates' side this time. and i just loved how the pirates would team up to fight the navy. this time is teaming up to fight good. and i usually don't say such things, but i hope evil this time would triumph, although, the pirates there aint' exactly bad people. so i guess it's a matter of survival of the fittest.
nothing's working out around here, stories, jewlleries, my skin, the new maid, my parents blah blah blah. they say in the year of the pig, those who's zodiac sign is the dragon would have better life prospectives compared to the previous. so is it just me? that i'm cursed with bad luck and all things bad? or the zodiac thing is crap? somehow i know the answer is the former.
i'm cursed.
